Pregnancy and birth How doulas support young mothers in Bonn

Beuel · Since March, Michelle Bornkessel from Bonn has been working as a doula. She accompanies young mothers during pregnancy and birth. She tells us what is important in her job.

  A doula should be like a lighthouse, says Michelle Bornkessel.

A doula should be like a lighthouse, says Michelle Bornkessel.

Foto: Meike Böschemeyer

"A pregnant woman achieves great things," emphasises Michelle Bornkessel. She also conveys this certainty in the context of her work. Since March, she has been allowed to accompany women through pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period as a doula. The term doula comes from the Greek and means "servant", in this case that of a woman.

"The doula fulfils all the wishes and ideas of an expectant mother," says Bornkessel. At the same time, the medical activities are still left exclusively to the midwife. Due to the lack of staff in the hospital, the emotional care is lost, says the 29-year-old. "With encouraging talks and relaxation exercises, we try to support the woman as best we can.“

The four-month training usually requires already being a mother oneself, she adds. Bornkessel explains, "That way you have a better feeling for what happens during birth and especially with the expectant mother." However, one's own experiences and opinions are not included in birth support. Some women are afraid of the pain. This is exactly when the doula is there to say: "You can do this. You are strong and doing great.

What support the pregnant woman needs depends entirely on the situation and personality of the woman. "Some are totally quiet, others want to sing and dance to relax during labour pauses," says the young doula. That is why it is important to get to know each other before the birth.

Support for fathers too

She can also be a support for the fathers. "They are usually grateful to be able to hand over the responsibility in between. For fathers, it can be frightening to experience their own wife in severe pain," the 29-year-old says. She adds that every woman deserves loving birth support. "A traumatic birth can still have a negative impact on the woman years later," says Bornkessel. "Unfortunately, the service is not covered by the health insurance companies.“

Sometimes the doula herself would also reach her limits. "Some parents contact doulas with the knowledge that they will become star parents, that is, give birth to a dead baby," Bornkessel says. Each doula has to decide for herself and also professionally to turn down assignments if it is not possible. The Corona regulations also make the doulas' work more difficult.

Currently, only one person is allowed in the delivery room, and that person is usually the father. "Many women are afraid of catching Corona and having to give birth in isolation," says Bornkessel. Therefore, the focus is currently on preparation and support during pregnancy.

"Even before the birth, many discussions take place to prevent fears and worries," says Bornkessel. She offers pleasant words and suggestions for relaxation exercises. One method is surprisingly helpful for some: "Some people would not have believed that a hand massage could do so much good. It often helps to be open to new things," says the doula.

(Original text: Lea Henneberg; Translation: Mareike Graepel)
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